hopeslens: (Default)
Haruki Komaeda (狛枝 陽生) ([personal profile] hopeslens) wrote 2018-10-25 03:25 pm (UTC)

Sixth Entry

I've been taking the medicine that Takagi-kun made. I don't feel as out of it or disconnected anymore. It's made taking pictures for papa or finding things he likes much easier, so I'm happy about that. Takagi-kun asked me again if I was sure I didn't want to be cured. I told him I didn't. He still doesn't get it, and he looks worried, but he promised that he'd just help treat it and manage it, then.

That's okay, isn't it? As long as I keep this disease in me, that bad luck stays in me too, right? And if the bad luck is staying with me, the good luck must be staying with papa.

I haven't told him anything about what Takagi-kun said. Takagi-kun won't tell him either. I feel like papa will just be angry with me if he finds out. I'm sorry, papa. I know this is horrible and selfish. I know even you won't live forever. But I just want too be with you as long as I can. Even if I make friends, even if I someday find someone I love, I still want you there.

But I'm scared to say things like that. Writing is okay, but if I say it out loud, it might ruin everything.

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